Daddy Tantrums

For multiple and obvious reasons, the most important thing to have when dealing with toddlers is plenty of patience. Β Even with a large amount they can turn you into a raving lunatic. Without it, you are completely screwed.

This hasn’t always been my strongest personality trait, particularly when things don’t work the way they should or when I’m unable to do something that I think I should be able. For a long time I was that a-hole kicking the lawnmower when it wouldn’t start or throwing my golf clubs all over the course. My ability to string together whole sentences of nothing but intricate variations of vulgarity was legendary. I was the poet laureate of profane.

 

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Alaina seems to have some of these same tendencies. We’ve been working a lot on puzzles lately, which she really seems to be taking to, but there have also been times I’ve entered the living room to find pieces thrown about and a very ticked off little girl. Β She doesn’t get mad often but when she does it is usually because she can’t figure something out or get something to work the way she feels it should.

In my efforts to try and set a good example and teach her how to cope with disappointment I have calmed down considerably over the past several years. Β When the DVR started acting up last week I was perfectly fine with it. Β Last night the hard drive failed completely, taking with it almost 90 hours of recorded programming, and I was only a little annoyed. Somehow I seemed to have fried my expensive external hard drive trying to recover some of this information, taking with it my music and picture back-ups, and there was some frustration. When I downloaded a virus onto my PC trying to find last Sunday’s episode of Salem I lost my mind.

But it took a long time. And I didn’t throw anything.

Having a child unconsciously forces you to try and become a better person. Besides the example you are setting there is also a radical change in perspective. Little things become much smaller now that this huge thing has happened in your life.

It also helps seeing how ridiculous she looks during one of her fits. Everyone has a breaking point, but we can’t have two people in the house that throw tantrums.

 

 

50 thoughts on “Daddy Tantrums”

  1. Interesting, look forward to seeing how much of this personal growth actually transfers to the golf course though. I’ll still take the under on a club learning to fly by the 9th hole. Cheers!

    1. I can’t even remember the last time I threw a club, but I don’t get out much anymore. Probably just means I’m due

  2. If I’m about to lose my cool which is often, I just calmly walk up to my bedroom bury my face onto a pillow a scream for a minute; calmly walk back downstairs and hope I don’t start rocking to and fro. I think it’s better than scaring the birds out of the trees with a high pitched scream that only animals can hear πŸ˜‰

  3. A teen and a toddler? Been there – done that! Eighteen years between my oldest and the youngest. He’s 22 now. Glad that’s over! I believe you gather patience as you grow older. I was pretty patient last week when my USB thingy locked up with all my chapters of my latest book. Still working on getting that to open. So in the meantime I started a new book. Got to do something! ~Elle

  4. Patience is a tough one to master, and I’m not sure I have done it yet! But you are totally right, we need to model our behavior for our children.
    Guess they teach us too.

  5. My catchphrase since having children has become “it’s not serious” – it bloody well is but not in the whole scheme of things if that makes sense! #FridayFrolics

  6. Very true, I think having a kid does make you reflect a bit more and ensures that you are a bit more conscious of how you act. Still, I only have an 8 month old so I don’t have to think about this much yet haha!

  7. Sometimes if feels good to get angry and get some fire in your belly. ( Just in the right place and for the right reason!)

    I am far too much of a hippy these days..:)

  8. I’m the same. I’m a much more mellow person now that I have (three) kids. I’m conscious of not wanting to pass on some of my less attractive character traits and it’s interesting to note that some of these changes gradually become automatic over time. Maybe it really is possible for a leopard to change its spots – with suitable motivation.

  9. I relate to this post totally – as you say you try to become a better person and perspectives change. I’m trying hard – learning each day πŸ™‚
    Thanks for linking up #bigfatlinky

  10. Fab post. I to am having to do exactly the same as you. It’s really hard but my little girl also gets really arsey when she can’t do something. I guess you have to be the good example. I save my strops for when she is in bed hehe xx #binkylinky

  11. It is amazing what our kids teach us. I wrote on this topic recently because I thought I was the one to teach my kids but I have learnt so much from them and because of them. You made me chickle too. Thanks for sharing #binkylinky

  12. I sadly feel like I lose my temper more now that I stay home with 4 kids than I ever have in my life. I hate that about myself. I have to consciously take a step back sometimes and regroup and refocus and then I can usually proceed in a calm manner. Thanks for linking up to #BigTopBlogParty

  13. I’ve learnt over the last three years how to keep my cool and for me it’s by not reacting to my twins tantrums because I know that will only make the situation worse for all of us. Sometimes I will just leave the room to compose myself. Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky

  14. What an awesome post,it could be me lol just the other week my iPad wouldn’t work properly and I was truly on the edge of throwing I didn’t loved your post thanks for linking to the Binkylinky

  15. Ooooooooh three children later and I still have a lot of growing up to do. I still kick the lawn mower and throw things. I just try not to throw things at the kids even though they are always lobbing things at my head. Well.done for keeping your temper in check. Sounds like you’re a better person than me. Quite often my kids and I are throwing tantrums at the same time πŸ˜‰

    #twinklytuesdays

  16. Monkey see, monkey do. I know having kids has forced me to be on my best behavior too. Thanks for the reminder that little eyes are always watching.

    #TwinklyTuesday

  17. Fab post – I definitely have a short fuse and I think Zach has got it from me too – he is similar to your little one where he’ll get frustrated if he can’t work something out. I should definitely take a leaf out of your book and work at my own short fuse so we can influence his! Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    1. Its a constant battle. She went through a profanity phase a year or so ago that really brought home how important it was to try and keep calm ( at least in her prescence )

  18. Please teach me your secret I am still left in the zone of blowing smoke out my ears when the kids get me flustered and I hate being that shouty mommy. With two toddlers on my hands I need to have WAY more patience. lol Good for you for finding some. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

  19. I loose my temper often! Too much but I have calmed down recently, thank god! There is only a 2 year 3 month gap between my girls. They argue like cat and dog! But they are so loving to each other, so over protective but if one of them starts then they both can loose their tempers pretty quick! Then I loose my temper but I have learnt to just walk away into a room count to 10 then go back and tell them off or put them on the naughty step if they go too far (if they hit, punch, pinch, slap!)

    Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky Hope too see you again Sunday!

  20. I grew up with a Dad who when he blew his top, man did it *go*! He was never loud or shouty at us but if it was a broken down work truck? Yup, it was getting kicked and there were lots of swear words and being from New England, you know how um, inventive and colorful they could be! I’ve noticed that I may have inherited this temper a bit and how I’m going to have to be so mindful of how this comes across as my son grows up! #wineandboobs

    1. Inventive and colorful are pretty accurate. Being mindful of my language in front of the little is a big challenge.

  21. I have to agree, kids have a way of mellowing you out…..or at least making you pause for a second.
    I literally stabbed myself in the hand the other day on accident.
    Initially my reaction was to cuss and hit something. Instead I was able to drop the knife and walk out of the room so I didn’t react in front of the kids.
    But we have also began using substitutes for words. But the kids are catching on.

  22. My husband & my oldest have the same short fuse and get on each other’s nerves about it. It’s kind of funny to watch because theyrecsocsimklar. I always tell my husband it’s like he’s butting heads with himself. Good on you for setting a good example for how to handle meltdown situations for your daughter! πŸ™‚
    Popping over to read from #wineandboobs linky

  23. I have developed a painted on smile. My husband now recognises it and comments how he is terrified by “that look”. Apparently I look a little like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. I concentrate on keeping it in place no matter what is going on as it takes my mind away from screaming blue murder. Worth trying? πŸ™‚
    #momsterslink

  24. Ok so now I totally know the man behind the curtain. Meeting so many bloggers can get confusing sometimes πŸ˜‰ but now I know who you are …anywho great post! In my house everyone throws a tantrum from time to time. We are all passionate about everything we are passionate about and it shows lol. Thanks for linking up with me at #momsterslink.

  25. I have to admit that I could some lessons in this department. As soon as my patience is at a fine thread my voice gets louder. I have noticed as I’ve started to keep myself in check my kids are responding in kind. I will admit though a moment to myself to throw some explicit words into the air for only my ears to hear helps too. πŸ˜‰

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