The Most Boring Man in the Universe

I spent a good portion of my twenties hanging around in smokey barrooms. Places with pool tables, blues on the jukebox, and more Harleys than cars in the parking lot. I didn’t go for the booze but for the companionship. Places where everybody knew my name and the bartenders knew my drink. Think Cheers, not Leaving Las Vegas. I made a lot of good friends and once even made it to Vegas playing 9-ball.

pool team


Those days seem a long time ago now. Early mornings, a longer drive home and a decrease in expendable income have all conspired against me. They’ve made me boring.

I do my best to keep some of the friendships active. I stop by for a few pops and an hour or so of catching up. A few Sundays during football season I’ll swing by the Sports Bar I used to frequent. These are the nights and afternoons where my new reality becomes painfully apparent. It turns out that I have very little to talk about besides my children.

We DVR most of our television so I’m always a few weeks behind the current episodes. We don’t make it to the movies much and I have a hard time staying up late enough after the kids go to bed to rent many. I’ve always considered myself right of center politically but lately what I see on my Facebook feed has me wondering if I haven’t turned into liberal tree-hugging hippie in my old age. It makes me try and avoid talking about current events.


interesting 3


It makes me even more grateful for sports. Besides the excitement of a game like last night, where the outcome is undetermined until the very last play, I will always have something to talk about. At any given moment there are people drinking beer and watching a sporting event or sports news on a television somewhere, waiting for my brilliant observations. We may not all root for the same team or agree on what Tom Brady actually does with his balls, but the discussions will always be civilized. It really makes me wonder what other people talk about.

So that’s what I have nowadays. My kids or sports. What do you want to talk about?





14 thoughts on “The Most Boring Man in the Universe”

  1. This sounds scarily familiar and I don’t even have children to blame it on lol. For me its because of work mostly – I work in a pub so generally once I finish work the majority of the places I would want to go to have closed too! #weekendblogshare

    1. I’d think working in a pub most of your job description is making the kind of small talk I am apparently unable to make anymore

  2. starting Richard Rodgers at TE over Antonio Gates may just be the coaching decision of the year to get me into the FFB playoffs!! How’s your season going???? Cheers!

  3. It comes with the territory. I used to be more social and would go anywhere at a moments notice. That’s changed since I’ve become a Dad. Our evenings are spent at home playing with and wearing out the baby, and social invites come with it’s ok to bring the baby. Many times we leave earlier than we planned because he’s gotten cranky. It makes me respect Mom and Dad more, they made it look easy.

  4. I don’t do anything that I used to do in my twenties (and I’m glad for that because I was on a self-destructive path before getting pregnant with my oldest. I always tell him he saved me:)). Anyway, these days I talk about my kids too but I also talk about music, blogging, and video games. LOL! Yeah, I think I’ve gotten kind of boring too, now that I think about it.

  5. If it makes you feel better at all, a responsible dad isn’t boring. He is a champion. Unrecognized, I will give you that one. He is a hero, nonetheless. Society’s penchant for making a good man feel boring is why there are so few good men. Hold your “Boring” Badge high. You are real. You are strong enough to do well without a pat on the back. Believe it or not, a boring man is what good women dream about. You deserve to poke that chest out with pride. I salute your strength and faithfulness.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.