The Friends That Last

February is coming to a close, the long road to spring becoming shorter by the day. This also means the end of “National Friendship Month.” I’m not sure what this means, or why we need a month devoted to the concept, but I also seem to remember September being a “month of friendship.” I do know that July 30th has been declared “International Friendship Day” by the United Nations, but not how I know that. I’m pretty sure that “Make a New Friend Day” was last month, but to be honest, it all gets a little confusing.

The four year old doesn’t have full calendar comprehension yet, but to her every day is “Make a Friend Day.” It doesn’t matter to her if you are the new kid in class, somebody she’s never seen before at the playground, or the UPS man.  If you are nice to her that makes you friends, and once that happens it doesn’t matter how much time passes until you meet again, you remain friends.

 

alaina and claudia

 

Is this just the innocence of childhood? The fact that nobody has yet to disappoint her or be anything but nice in return? When do we lose this thought process?

She does have some friends that she likes more than others, girls from last year’s class and some boys from this year.

I hope that some of these friends stick. My wife’s best friend is somebody that she has known since that age, as are many of mine. They are the people you can go years without seeing, then act like it was no times at all. They are also the ones not afraid to call you out if you are being an asshole, something that we can all use every once in a while.

It’s no coincidence that it’s the girl that the teenager has been friends with the longest that has been the one quickest to express her disappointment at her recent actions. It’s also no coincidence that she remains our favorite one of her friends.

I’ve mentioned before the small town that I grew up in and how we all inexplicably still try and remain in touch. One of those guys recently posted an old picture on Facebook of himself and one of our best friends that had passed, almost exactly twenty two years ago.  Along with all the memories shared in the comments were these words: “Salem seems to have had an unusually high concentration of excellent people. We are fortunate to have grown up together there.”

A few weeks ago I was able to get together with a few of these friends that now live out of state, and It was a sentiment brought up often. One of them is a new father to a one year old, the other has a sixteen year old son. We may be at different times in our parenting lives, but our one commonality is that we all hope for our children to find friends like that.

 

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32 thoughts on “The Friends That Last”

  1. Beautiful. I love this, and I hope your kids make lovely, sustaining, lasting friendships.

    I met my best friend only a few years ago, and through the internet. She’s like the other half of my heart, and we’re constantly in touch, every day. Having met her In Real, I only love her more 🙂

    1. I’m not fully convinced that there is, but I never pass up an opportunity to blog about the importance of good friends, especially as kids head towards the teenage years

  2. I love this and it’s so true… children can make friends so easily. I wish it came that naturally for me. Someone talks to me and unfortunately I get jumpy and wonder why they’re talking to me. I was raised in the city and my folks constantly reinforced that if I talked to someone I didn’t know, I would either:

    1- be kidnapped and sold into slavery
    2- be murdered

    Unfortunately those childhood experiences stuck with me but I allow my girls to chat up people they meet and we’ve had numerous uncomfortable invitations to our home (yes, we just met and my kid likes your kid but no, I’m not inviting you over). lol

    My friends though… they are good, and they’ve stuck, and we’re with each other, pushing each other, and encouraging one another to do better and be better.

    Anyway… I loved this post – can you tell (I wrote an essay-like response). lol

    Wishing you an awesome week!

    1. There are no word limits on comments here Jen. Thanks for reading. Mine usually is more inclined to invite herself over to other people’s houses so she can check out what they have. Not any less embarrassing though

  3. I never realised there were so many Friendship days or months (probably why I don’t have many friends!).

    It’s a shame that the innocence of children doesn’t last longer, but then, it’s sad that there are people who take advantage of innocence.

    The best friends are the ones who pull you up on behaviour and not be scared to say it as it is. They are also like old gloves; you may not see them for months, but when you do they are warm and comfortable.

    It’s nice that you are still in touch with friends from old, they are obviously fantastic people for you to want them in your life and that is special.

    xx

  4. What a lovely post. Friendships make up such a big part of our lives and it’s great that you have such close friendships. Having moved around a lot my friends are dotted about the place, but I do still keep in touch with some. x
    #happydiaries

  5. I had no idea February was Friendship month. Is it a coincidence that it falls in the same month as Valentine’s Day? I mean, after all, love and friendship do have a lot in common. It’s an emotional bond/connection to another human being that isn’t related to us. Anyway, my son doesn’t remember the kids he was friends with in preschool and every day seems to bring about a new friend but he does have three really good friends, one is over my house almost every day, and the irony in that friendship is that the kid bullied Conner last year and now they’re best friends. Go figure! I do hope that the friends he makes now at the age of 9 are his friends for life. I have three really good friends from childhood that I am still very close to today and that kind of friendship, to me, is immeasurable. Popping over from #happydiaries

    1. Thats pretty great, not only that he was able to forgive the other boy, but that the other kid changed his behaviors

  6. I had no idea about friendship month either. Good friends are invaluable though, help you through the good times and the bad. #happydiaries

    1. I pretty much grew up with the same, small group of people until I got to high school. I’m not sure how much you moved around, but I can imagine it was a much different childhood

  7. I think as children grow up slowly they understand the disappointment of the world a little better with each passing year, but fingers crossed your little one will have friends for life from the people she meets now in her early childhood years. My two best friends both became my friends at the ages of four and five, and we may not speak every day but when we do it feels like nothing is ever changed. I love that about true friendships. 🙂 glad you got to meet up with old friends! xx

  8. I lost contact with my childhood friends but have found the internet wonderful for finding uni friends and with these, it is like we are still there, propping up the student hall bar … pocolo.

    1. To me, one of the best things about the Net is being able to keep up with people you may have lost contact with otherwise

  9. My boy is like your daughter – he makes friends with everyone, or he tries to! Sometimes the kid he is talking to doesn’t want to know, but he doesn’t let that put him off really 😉
    x Alice
    #fartglitter

  10. It’s so true that you can’t beat a good friendship – and I too wonder when we lose that ambition that everyone is our friend. We should stop and see the world through a child’s eye more often I think. Thanks for linking up to #pocolo

  11. I’ve had so many friendships in my life. Some have stayed and others have faded but the ones who stay the true constant I know will be a lifetime. I too grew up in a small town and still talk to a few of those friends and of course Facebook keeps everyone in touch lol. Thanks for linking up with #momsterslink. Your youngest sounds just like my 6 year old … Friends with EVERYONE!

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