Potty Predicaments


We do a lot of celebrating to commemorate our children’s success at consistently wiping their own asses, and rightfully so. It’s an impressive achievement, deserving of fanfare. What it is not, however, is the end to our potty predicaments. Future lessons, such as actually flushing the toilet after use and washing their hands without the entire bathroom looking like the first three rows of an aquarium dolphin show prove much harder to learn than expected. A tendency to use an entire roll of toilet paper for each of their solo wipes leading to some fun clean ups.

There’s also a matter of timing, namely that they will always have to go at the worst possible time. We begin the process of getting out the door at 7:40 each morning so that socks, shoes, and jacket can be donned in time to actually walk outside at 7:55. At least once, usually twice a week, my daughter will take her morning dump at 7:52.


potty predicaments


If at any time during the upcoming shopping season you experience some sort of gastrointestinal emergency and need to find a bathroom quickly, search not for an employee, but for someone with small children in tow. Chances are good that if they have ever shopped there before they once had to abandon their place in line to rush their kid to those facilities.

Here in the Northeast we are currently experiencing the snowsuit conundrum. After spending twenty minutes bundling up in seventeen different items of clothing to prepare for playing outside in the snow, even a child that has spent the prior twenty minutes “trying to go” will somehow still have to pee almost immediately upon exiting the house.


potty predicaments


A least this one has a scientific explanation, something called “cold diuresis.” The idea is that when a person is cold, their body constricts blood vessels to reduce the flow of blood to skin and extremities. This works to conserve heat closer to the core, but results in an increase in blood pressure. To reduce this, the body responds by pulling out excess fluid, causing the urge to urinate.

Whether anyone else will find this interesting is probably debatable and it certainly won’t help the first time you realize there is a hole underneath your clogged up toilet that is directly above the basket of clean laundry in the basement, but maybe now you know something that you didn’t yesterday, and isn’t that fun?





27 thoughts on “Potty Predicaments”

  1. Haha, I’ve certainly learned something! We are in the middle of potty training and it’s a nightmare #familyfunlinky

  2. Jeremy, you and I have some sort of strange parallel here. I feel, so deeply, every word. Especially the aquarium, and the awful timing of every dump… Oy. Hysterical post! #familfunlinky Have the best of the holiday season and enjoy the craziness! <3

  3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Both of my kids are great at needing a good 10 minute sit on the toilet when we are already 5 minutes late leaving the house. My youngest also seems to derive some sick pleasure from making me abandon my shopping to take her to the toilet because she’s desperate only to decide she doesn’t need it after all when you get there 😩
    Thank you for joining #FamilyFunLinky x

  4. We’ve made it through the cold so far without the Snowsuit conundrum.
    We frequesntly get the “I need to pee” 5 minutes after getting into the car and driving away from the toilets though.

    Ha ha it’s great that your daughter is regular though πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


    1. we got hit by some super cold weather in the past few weeks. I felt bad that she was unable to get outside more during vacation, but it was actually dangerous to be out

  5. I definitely don’t miss those days of kids needing the toilet as soon as we left the house, although I am trying to up my intake of water so it seems to be me with the problem at the moment! Thanks for linking up with #KCACOLS hope you can join us again next time πŸ™‚

    1. Based on the amount of times I get up over the course of the night, I probably shouldn’t be throwing too many stones either Tracey

  6. My son is 17 months old so we’re in the middle of potty training. We were making some headway but now he doesn’t seem to be interested. #kcacols

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